(Jared is sitting in a chair facing the camera)
Jared: While Alex and Stephen whined about their girl troubles, I was having some problems with the finer sex myself. I had finally won a date with the girl of my dreams. However, there's a catch. She's mormon. We all know this is a death sentence to any guy persuing a girl. So, of course she had some peramaters. I could live with the "when we hug, our hips can't be touching rule" and the "I must be cavity searched by her father rule", but the worst part was that she said I had to bring one of my friends to the movie with us. I had no idea which friend of mine would make an able wingman. Most of my friends (underneath Jared's narration a quick silent clip of one of his friends wooing his date and Jared looks despondent next to her) are too charming and would kill my game immediately. All my other friends (another silent scene with a different friend cracking a joke with the girl turning red with laughter while jared looks furious in the background) are too funny and would make her laugh the whole night and she would forget all about me. There was only one man boring enough to be the third wheel: Sean (quick clip of Sean sitting on the computer.) There's something quite amazing about Sean. He's not repulsive or offensive. He's nerdy, but not enough to be noticeably... off. He's not even necessarily awkward himself, but he does have an ungodly way of making a situation as awkward as it can get.
(The three walk into the mall. There is no talking. The next camera shot is of them standing in line at a Greek food stand.)
Jared: I felt like taking my own life, right there in the Greek sandwich line. If I had a gun or a knife or a piece of dental floss I would have done the deed. But I was not so lucky. I had to endure it.
(The three sit down at a food court table. Jared and the girl sit across from each other and Sean sits next to the girl.)
Sean: (after much awkward silence, looking down at his gyro) What is this?
Sean: This sauce.
Jared: (uninterestedly) It’s tsatsiki.
Sean: Hmm (takes another bite).
Sean: I wonder if it’s yogurt based. Or is it a cream base?
Jared: (shaking head) Sean.
(The trio is walking into the theater to watch the movie. As they move single-file up, the order is girl, Sean, and then Jared. Jared tries to maneuver around Sean so that he will be sitting next to the girl. He tries to do this subtlety but Sean is obviously not catching on. When they are about to sit, Jared, in an act of desperation tries to dive into the seat next to the girl before Sean sits down. This instead leaves Jared sitting in Sean’s lap.)
(The three of them are sitting watching the movie with the girl eating popcorn, Sean looking blankly at the screen and Jared with his head on his fist glaring at Sean.)
Jared: It was horrible.
Sean: (to girl) Pass the popcorn.